Current:Home > ContactSelena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief. -Edge Finance Strategies
Selena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief.
View
Date:2025-04-12 13:18:55
Selena Gomez has revealed she's unable to carry a child due to medical reasons − an experience that can cause deep grief our society often overlooks.
“I haven’t ever said this,” Gomez told Vanity Fair, in a cover story published online Monday, “but I unfortunately can’t carry my own children. I have a lot of medical issues that would put my life and the baby’s in jeopardy. That was something I had to grieve for a while.”
The 32-year-old star of "Only Murders in the Building" said she still plans on becoming a mom one day. It's just not going to happen "necessarily the way I envisioned it," she added.
“I thought it would happen the way it happens for everyone," she said. "I’m in a much better place with that. I find it a blessing that there are wonderful people willing to do surrogacy or adoption, which are both huge possibilities for me. It made me really thankful for the other outlets for people who are dying to be moms. I’m one of those people. I’m excited for what that journey will look like, but it’ll look a little different. At the end of the day, I don’t care. It’ll be mine. It’ll be my baby.”
Mourning getting pregnant is a valid grief
Grief experts previously told USA TODAY that women who discover they can't get pregnant often mourn what they thought bringing a child into the world would look like for them. Though it isn't the same as grieving the death of a loved one, it's a painful experience nonetheless.
"There's this hierarchy around what grief deserves to get mourned or get honored," said Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, adding all forms of grief are valid.
Susan Youngsteadt, a social worker in Raleigh, North Carolina, previously opened up to USA TODAY about her experience discovering she carries a hereditary gene for breast cancer at the age of 25. As a result, she made the decision not to have biological children.
While she said she has a loving partner who is also OK with not having children, "that is something that I actively seek therapeutic support around and a community around of choosing to be childless. And some of that choice is due to my health, it is due to the risks that exist in my family system with both of my parents having a cancer diagnosis."
More:At 25 she found out she had the breast cancer gene. Now, she's grieving motherhood.
As with all forms of grief, Youngsteadt said some days are better than others.
"Sometimes it's hard to separate (the different grief experiences)," she said. "But I think something we tell people to do clinically and therapeutically is that you have to hold space for each one and take all the time you need to cry or have a ritual or seek support around each thing and let it run its own course. And then you can pick up the next thing."
Coping with grief
When it comes to grief, psychotherapist and podcast host Amy Morin previously told USA TODAY talking could be beneficial, but not all talk will be helpful.
"When someone is grieving another type of loss, like the loss of hope after learning they can't have a child, the information might be kept private," she said. "Other people may also minimize the impact of a loss. That can slow the healing process."
My dog died two months ago.Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Grief slithers into our lives at inconvenient times. It leaves us uncomfortable and unwilling to discuss it.
"People get worried that it might be contagious," David Kessler, grief expert and founder of Grief.com, previously told USA TODAY. "Like, if I hear too much about your parent dying, it doesn't mean my parent's dying soon. Is it?"
More:Selena Gomez's revealing documentary gave her freedom: 'There wasn't any hiding anymore'
Grief wasn't something Youngsteadt ever planned on. No one does.
But "the older I get, and the more grief has touched my life, I think that's where I need to be," she said. "And I think that's where I need to immerse myself. It's where I feel the most aligned. It's where I feel – it's weird to say comfortable – but it's where I really feel like that's where I'm supposed to be."
Contributing: David Oliver
veryGood! (42657)
Related
- Current, future North Carolina governor’s challenge of power
- Breanna Stewart condemns 'homophobic death threats' sent to wife after WNBA Finals loss
- JD Vance quips that Donald Trump will 'stop' rumored Skyline Chili ice cream flavor
- There's a big Ozempic controversy brewing online. Doctors say it's the 'wild west.'
- The city of Chicago is ordered to pay nearly $80M for a police chase that killed a 10
- Krispy Kreme introduces special supermoon doughnut for one-day only: How to get yours
- Some coaches may get surprise if they reach College Football Playoff. And not a good one.
- After hurricanes, the business of rebuilding lives means navigating the insurance claims process
- South Korea's acting president moves to reassure allies, calm markets after Yoon impeachment
- Off the Grid: Sally breaks down USA TODAY's daily crossword, A Sight to Behold (Freestyle)
Ranking
- Krispy Kreme offers a free dozen Grinch green doughnuts: When to get the deal
- Anne Hathaway performs 'Somebody to Love' at Harris event in 'Ella Enchanted' throwback
- Hayley Erbert Returns to DWTS Alongside Husband Derek Hough After Near-Fatal Medical Emergency
- Co-founder of cosmetics company manifests Taylor Swift wearing her product
- The Daily Money: Spending more on holiday travel?
- McCormick and Casey disagree on abortion, guns and energy in their last debate
- Texas set to execute Robert Roberson despite strong evidence of innocence. What to know.
- ReBuild NC Has a Deficit of Over $150 Million With 1,600 People Still Displaced by Hurricanes Matthew and Florence
Recommendation
Trump's 'stop
The son of a South Carolina inmate urges the governor to save his father from execution
Voting rights groups seek investigation into Wisconsin text message
NFL owners approve Jacksonville’s $1.4 billion ‘stadium of the future’ set to open in 2028
Skins Game to make return to Thanksgiving week with a modern look
Lonzo Ball makes triumphant return for first NBA game since Jan. 2022
Why Kristin Cavallari Thinks Celebs Like Kanye West and Britney Spears Have Been Cloned
Tom Brady’s purchase of a minority stake in the Las Vegas Raiders is approved by NFL team owners